TITLE: Acceptance
Author: ailaling1017
Genre: angst
Warnings: yaoi
Disclaimer: I wish I own Super Junior./le sigh
Rating: G
Pairing: broken!KyuMin  could be anyone you like
Verse: alternate
Type/Status: Drabble; Complete; 300W
Summary: Acceptance is such an elusive thing.
A/N: Written for someone because I'm feeling shitty all of a sudden. 

~

I guess I was never really in love with you. 
I was probably in love with the idea of having you.
The untainted image of you embedded in my heart doesn't seem to be all that pristine anymore.
But then again, it doesn't make the pain hurt any less.
If possible, it made it worse.
Worse in the sense that none of what I believed to be was real.
With the realization comes the pain - not that sharp, stabbing quality it once used to be.
Just a numb feeling that constantly reminds me of promises not kept and shattered dreams - nagging at my insides, haunting me with life's regrets.
Acceptance is what I need right now.
Acceptance is what I long for.
To accept that you and I are a thing of the past is what I aim to do.
Acceptance that what matters is what's here and now - not the vague recall of memories long forgotten - memories that doesn't seem to be of much importance anymore. To you, at least.
Acceptance is such an elusive thing.
You are there - but not really.
So near, yet so far.
Acceptance is what I'm striving for.
Acceptance is somewhere near my grasp.
Acceptance is something I thought I could achieve if I set my mind to it.
Then I see you smile that smile of yours which never fails to make my heart skip a beat.
The smile that used to be for me - only this time, you were looking at a completely different direction.
And the world goes crumbling down once again.
All efforts of letting go and moving on going down the drain together with the broken pieces of my heart.
Acceptance is somewhere I'm no near of having.
Then the cycle repeats itself.
I realize that yes, indeed I was not in love with you - because I still am.